WHAT’S NEXT: WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN IN A BAD SITUATION FOR A LONG TIME?

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Have you ever seen a person who is at that point where they have endured a lot and refuse to take any more of a bad situation? Such a person is usually so excited about moving on to a better future that there is no energy left for whatever it is they have been enduring.

Forget about the Martin Lawrence/Tim Robbins movie about the guy whose work and married life are in shambles, thus making him a man with ‘nothing to lose’ (he then proceeds to act and live recklessly). I think having nothing to lose is more about the bargaining power that a person has in a bad situation.

Say you’re in a bad job or a bad relationship, the decision to stay on is sometimes based on insecurities. There’s the fear of not being able to get something better if you walk out.

Also, we sometimes stay in a bad situation because of our faith that things will/may turn around.

For the latter, you’d have to be someone who believes in the influence of a higher power. That’s why you might choose to wait around for things to get better against all evidence. But there’s another possibility.

Sometimes we are simply biding our time through a bad situation. We are working on ourselves and building up to the point where:

a. The uncomfortable situation gets better

Or b. We can liberate ourselves with confidence

So the guy in the sucky job might be hard at work; building his skills/resume till he reaches the point where outcome a or b are available to him as choices.

As for the person in a toxic relationship, they’ve got to work on their confidence, to the point where the relationship is just something that had better shape up or end (nothing in between, please).

It is very empowering to be at that point where you’re okay with either outcome. At that point, it actually doesn’t matter to you what happens with those aspects of the situation that are outside your control.

It all comes down to upholding your self worth. Rather than let that uncomfortable situation erode your confidence, remind yourself of what you deserve and work towards it.

We’ve all seen professionals who felt that discontent, and started to work quietly and gradually towards a career change. Or those folks who one day, like magic, freed themselves of abusive relationships. They were finally able to get out from under the guilt or whatever negative emotion trapped them in the relationship. But it doesn’t happen without that I-better-work-on-getting-my -ass-out-of-here mentality.

It’s kind of like that movie where the guy gradually creates a tunnel from his prison cell to the outside world – Shaw shank Redemption. And yes that’s another reference to a Tim Robbins movie.

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