On Becoming is a book by Toke Makinwa who is an On Air Personilty on Rhythm FM, Lagos. This may not be your traditional book review but I’m just gonna quickly mention three mistakes Toke made in her life as in the book.

The book details Toke’s life from her formative years into adulthood. Technically, it may be categorized as a bildungsroman. So let’s see the three mistakes she made:

1.  Toke describes how her parents were very devout and saw to it that she and her siblings were trained in that manner. Her father was not only an elder in church, but lived a simple, upright life, enforcing the routine morning prayers, advising, and living as an example for them to follow. But somehow, our lady found herself touring clubs when she went to university. At school, she records:

“I found a group of girls just like me to ‘enjoy’ life with. We were members of a party club called ENVEE. It was like a rave club: we would throw and attend parties. Every day of the week found us at some party or club.”

So there you have it. Mistake number one: she left the good home training.

2. Toke always went back to Maje and it’s because of his money. Oh please, don’t give me that look. Someone has to say it. First date was a jet ski, peppered snails, private beaches, flying across the country and all? Pardon me but that was a huge cloak right there. Toke was blinded by the luxury that she did not apply any reason to the affair from onset. I would say she didn’t take her time to know him before ‘falling in love’ with him, but that’s too polite. She knew, but adored the luxury. That’s why she put up with the first lie, made excuse for the second, and went on to ‘forgive’ the fifty-sixth. I’d expect her to be weary of tall, dark and handsome rich men whose families own banks. But no, she just dove right in… So much for a girl without parents, huh?

3. She wrote about it. Never write about it, Toke, at least not in the first person narrative. Worst idea ever. You may somehow convince yourself of the need to tell your story to help other women in a similar situation, but that’s not it. It’s really about the money. It’s always been about it for Toke. This could have been published without her identity and would still be effective. If you read the book to the end you’ll see that Toke still reserves the possibility of a reconciliation with Maje, even after writing this book. That is not impossible. I hear Tiwa Savage and Tee Billz (or whatever their real names are) are back together. I’ll bet a hundred thousand that says Tiwa now regrets the interview she did after her husband attempted suicide… well, at least the part where she said her husband couldn’t afford their baby’s diapers but cut his hair twice a week. Whatever the case, it is always a terrible idea to throw your partner under the bus.

All in all, the book makes for an interesting read. I asked Toke Makinwa personally for permission to share a download link to her book here but, unfortunately, she declined. However, if you want to read it, follow me on Twitter @followmarshal. I’m sure we can work something out.


Hmmmmm! Nice review. The 2nd and 3rd mistakes are so true. I’ve read the book, and I think Toke ‘is’ obsessed with Maje and his money. That can’t be love. Love is not stupidity. I think love is good reasoning. It wouldn’t be any news to me if they are back and Toke writes another book entitled “Unbecoming”.

Good work Marshal.

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