IS SOY MILK GOOD FOR MEN?

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We were exchanging pleasantries after the seminar, this lady and I. I am not
going to mention her name, out of respect for her infant son’s private
part. I’d better explain.

I had just participated in a seminar, and I was packing to
leave, same as this lady whom I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. Somehow the
conversation landed on my days as a vegetarian. I explained to her that I was
no longer a vegetarian. You see, I had become one for some months, in order to carry
out a fitness experiment. I am glad that I carried out this experiment that
involved me adopting a vegetarian diet, with no meat, fish or eggs. I’m glad
because now that I am no longer on that diet, I can participate in the Vegetarian
VS Non-Vegetarian argument, with authority. I know the pros and I know the
cons.
I told this lady a few of the disadvantages of the
vegetarian diet. The biggest being that our society does not support it; you
don’t have vegetarian restaurants, or a large number of shops that cater to the
no-meat-eating rebel. I also mentioned some scary information I read online,
about the dangers of soy products to men. These were reports that were enough to
scare me from ever touching soy milk ever again.
As a little background for those who don’t know much about
vegetarianism, I have to let you know that soy products are popular because
they are one of the substitutes for animal protein. Another being mushrooms,
which I love to this day.
I had stumbled on a news report that said that soy products
messed with a man’s testosterone levels by reducing them. What?! Testosterone
is the very hormone that makes you a man. Less of it means what? Well according
to this report and numerous others which I found, there were lots of men who
claimed that they had experienced a reduction in the size of their penises. What?!
These claims have not been substantiated, but who wants to bet their member on
that, especially knowing that there’s a bit of a conspiracy out there.
I say there’s a conspiracy because groups like PETA and many
other very powerful organizations want the whole world to turn vegetarian. And
trust me there are lots of benefits to that lifestyle; from the way it doubles
your energy level, to how your body heals so much faster… I had even heard of
how vegetarians communicate with animals. I didn’t really believe it until I
had two very strange encounters with birds – but that’s a story for another
day.
As I brought up the reports of soy products reducing
testosterone levels, this lady nodded and said that she had been forced to take
her infant son of soy products a few months before. She said she had noticed
that over time, his testes had become smaller. What?! And to think that there’s
an advert for a soy milk brand that features a muscular and virile looking man.
Apart from my theory that there’s a conspiracy by the
vegetarian community to promote its lifestyle and products, I also realize that
there are a lot of men these days, who want to do away with their masculinity.
This makes it tricky for the world to campaign against the possible dangers of
soy products; they’re bad, but it depends on whether you want to continue being
a man.
Also, I imagine that the claims of reduced penises will be
hard to verify. How much soy milk would you have to drink to lose an inch? And how
would a guy who has been affected prove that he has lost any size? Would he
even be willing to come forward? Let’s not forget that men are said to
experience a seeming loss in size as they pack on flab around the pelvic
region, which doctors say, will hide some of their glory.
There is so much uncertainty and unverified information
around the issue, but the question remains, how many guys will be willing to
continue consuming soy products after hearing the rumors. Count me out.
And if I ever see you drinking soy milk, I’m going to smack
it out of your hand, unless you have informed me that you’re planning a transgender
procedure. In which case I’ll be very supportive.